I want to be like Noah.

Today was a rough day.

I am still trying to understand why I am not attending school this semester. 

Honestly, there really may not be any other explanation other than the fact that things don't always go the way we want them to because we are all human living on earth. Human. Earth. These are the two words I keep going back to. This isn't Heaven. I am a human on earth...not a sacred spirit living in the presence of the King. 

My heart physically aches because I have no plan right now. I know this is just a small... oh what's the word.. Blip? Relapse? Interference?  I know that when (and if) I start in the Spring, I will be more determined and passionate about my school career. I now know what it feels like to have hold on school and I don't like it. I have no plan. 
And that's a scary thing to me. I don't know what God is doing in my life. That is scary. This has created insecurities, fear, doubt, and confusion inside of me. I feel not only emotionally and physically weak, but also spiritually. 
Thankfully God is God. God is my Father and He has me in His arms. Tonight He told me about a man who trusted Him in the midst of chaos... a man who was ready and willing to trust. 

I want to be like Noah

I'm currently reading "Purpose Driven Life" (the devotional version). Today's reading focused on the life of Noah. We know that our first and main purpose in this life is to love and please God. (Love the Lord your God with all your heart and your soul and with all your mind. This is the first wand greatest commandment Mat. 22:37-38) What pleases God more than when we obey Him? Noah obeyed God. Noah followed God's will and did everything He commanded. By faith, he built an ark in the middle of the desert. God only warned him of what was to come. Noah couldn't see the weather radar warning of this massive flood.

 He had no idea what he was getting into by obeying God.. Can you imagine how close Noah became to God? How intimate his relationship with his Father became? God commanded, Noah obeyed.

I want to be like Noah. I want to obey God's command with out any hesitation or questioning. I don't know what God wants me to do. I just know that I have to be prepared for what ever it is. I am challenging myself to earnestly seek my Dad's face and His guidance. 

"I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be ashamed..... Taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give.