I want to be like Noah.

Today was a rough day.

I am still trying to understand why I am not attending school this semester. 

Honestly, there really may not be any other explanation other than the fact that things don't always go the way we want them to because we are all human living on earth. Human. Earth. These are the two words I keep going back to. This isn't Heaven. I am a human on earth...not a sacred spirit living in the presence of the King. 

My heart physically aches because I have no plan right now. I know this is just a small... oh what's the word.. Blip? Relapse? Interference?  I know that when (and if) I start in the Spring, I will be more determined and passionate about my school career. I now know what it feels like to have hold on school and I don't like it. I have no plan. 
And that's a scary thing to me. I don't know what God is doing in my life. That is scary. This has created insecurities, fear, doubt, and confusion inside of me. I feel not only emotionally and physically weak, but also spiritually. 
Thankfully God is God. God is my Father and He has me in His arms. Tonight He told me about a man who trusted Him in the midst of chaos... a man who was ready and willing to trust. 

I want to be like Noah

I'm currently reading "Purpose Driven Life" (the devotional version). Today's reading focused on the life of Noah. We know that our first and main purpose in this life is to love and please God. (Love the Lord your God with all your heart and your soul and with all your mind. This is the first wand greatest commandment Mat. 22:37-38) What pleases God more than when we obey Him? Noah obeyed God. Noah followed God's will and did everything He commanded. By faith, he built an ark in the middle of the desert. God only warned him of what was to come. Noah couldn't see the weather radar warning of this massive flood.

 He had no idea what he was getting into by obeying God.. Can you imagine how close Noah became to God? How intimate his relationship with his Father became? God commanded, Noah obeyed.

I want to be like Noah. I want to obey God's command with out any hesitation or questioning. I don't know what God wants me to do. I just know that I have to be prepared for what ever it is. I am challenging myself to earnestly seek my Dad's face and His guidance. 

"I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be ashamed..... Taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

All to Jesus I surrender, all to Him I freely give. 

Well, ya know.

.... And His plan is better than my plan. His timing is better than my timing.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Alright. So some of us know what it's like to be that person who plans every second of every day. Maybe some of us not only plan our entire day, but plan our entire week. Or month. Or semester.
Well, that's me. Summer came and I was already planning away. I signed up for Fall classes at ICC, I work at Hoerr's Berean Bookstore, I've become more involved at Harvest Bible Chapel, I have SO enjoyed spending time with friends, and have made the most of my summer. Everything was going smoothly and according to my plan. 


Until that one day.


My first interruption was early in the summer... the day I was reintroduced to a friend of a friend. We began hanging out and started to get to know each other. He expressed his interest in me. As friends, we were getting to know each other on a deeper level and were nearly to the point of forming a dating type relationship. Then my plan failed. God, thankfully, revealed details of this man's life that I did not agree with. My Dad showed me that this guy was not the one for me. It was hard for a while because I had developed a great friendship with this guy. But when I found out that our intentions differed, I knew we could no longer be friends. Even though this was a draining experience, God taught me HUGE things. And I daily thank Him this. 
So this was God's plan. It was necessary to experience something like this to prepare myself and reveal to me what a relationship should look like. His plan.  And, to make it even better, at Amplify (Harvest's college/single's group), we began a series on dating and relationships. This alone has been a huge, huge help. I am weekly gaining knowledge of what God intends for a God-honoring relationship.


My second interruption came this week. I found out that I am not eligible for financial aid because of some complications with tax stuff and blah, blah, blah. Long story short, I was approved for a loan. I went to the ICC aid office to get all of the details. It was here that I had less than 12 hours to either take out a loan, make a payment plan, or drop out. I had this feeling inside of me, which I know is the Holy Spirit, telling me not to take out a loan because I'm not financially prepared to do that. Of course, I did not feel this right away because my immediate reaction was Panic because my plan was ruined. After going through all of my options, the best and most wise decision I could have made was to not take out a loan. 
I felt as if I was in a box being shook around, being thrown around. I felt as though my world had been shaken. After a few days of disappointment, confusion, crying, and praying, the Holy Spirit calmed my spirit. He allowed my spirit to relax. At this point, I learned something I haven't felt or experienced before. My mind was not okay with the fact that I'm not going to school this semester. My body was responding to the stress with stomach aches and four sleepless nights. However... my spirit was calm. 
I reached a new stage of growth in Christ. I realized that my earthly body is temporary and separate from my eternal spirit. I've always "known" this because that's what I was taught. 
But now it has become a real thing, my own personal experience.


When your at the point of having no where else to turn.. it causes you to turn to Christ for comfort, peace, answers, and direction.. even if He doesn't answer me right away and even though I don't have a clear direction. 


(1) Never settle for less than God's best.


2) God does have a plan and His plan is even greater than my "fantastic" plan that I make up.  
Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


(3) Our bodies and lives on this earth are temporary, much like my plans ;) God has a plan and I should be praying and pleading with God to show me His will.
My will and desires should align with His will and His desires.


(4) The Holy Spirit is active and alive in me. Therefore, I am a conqueror through Christ. 


(5) My Father loves me more than I can even imagine. He has a plan. And His plan is better than my plan.

(6) In His timing is better than my timing. WAY better. And because of this fact, He will reveal things to me as He sees fit. His secrets are His until He lets me in on them.


My encouragement for you.. Praise God for the trials because He brings us through such things to bring us closer to Him. Know that God is the creator of the universe. Believe that God has your best interest in mind. Trust what scripture says. Hold tight to the promises our Father makes. And Realize that this world is SO temporary; we are simply vessels on this earth in central Illinois to Love God and Love others.


Any way. 
The end. :)


-Elizabeth.